Monday, January 28, 2013

ONION PEELINGS - January 28, 2013

The Onion
Mon Jan 28, 2013

Despite Lessons Of Cautionary Film 'Multiplicity,' Geneticists Determined To Clone Michael Keaton 01.28.13

WASHINGTON—A team of geneticists in Boston earned a stern rebuke from the scientific community this week when, despite the lessons learned from the 1996 cautionary film Multiplicity, they vowed to press ahead with their efforts to clone actor...

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J.J. Abrams To Direct New 'Star Wars' Movie

"I can't wait. I loved Lost, and Star Wars is a great name for a movie."

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When You're Feeling Low, Just Remember I'll Be Dead In About 15 Or 20 Years

by Donald Trump

By Donald Trump

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Area Bassist Fellated

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