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Monday, December 10, 2018

Trump’s Shocking Chief-of-Staff Pick






Sources close to the President are confident that Trump has selected a new chief of staff to replace John Kelly.
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Not the news.

TV remote Satire from The Borowitz Report

Trump Names TV Remote New Chief of Staff

"The President and the remote have demonstrated an excellent ability to work together, often for ten or twelve hours a day," Sarah Huckabee Sanders said.
By Andy Borowitz
Satire from The Borowitz Report

Fired Trump Staffers Hold Reunion

The event, which drew a crowd of approximately sixty-five thousand people, had been organized by the recently axed Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson.
By Andy Borowitz
Heather Nauert.
Satire from The Borowitz Report

Heather Nauert Says Visit to "It's a Small World" Ride Qualifies Her For U.N. Job

Trump's choice for the post noted that, while career diplomats might spend twenty to thirty years learning about only one country, "I learned about twenty-five countries in fifteen minutes."
By Andy Borowitz

More Humor from The New Yorker

Illustration of woman sitting on table looking at man
Shouts & Murmurs

"The Rules" Versus My Rules if I Wrote a Dating How-To Book

Always End Phone Calls First versus Any Person Under Forty Who Calls Another Person Is a Murderer, and more.
By Blythe Roberson
Birthday cake
Daily Shouts

Stop Crying and Eat These Thirtieth-Birthday Cakes

"Twenty-nine again," "time to freak and eat this entire cake," and other inspiring messages piped in icing.
By Rachel Merrill
Male and female talking
Daily Shouts

Proposal: Men Must Listen to Women for Five Seconds

Jumping off the success of YouTube's ad model, we will require men to listen to women speak before they move on to content featuring other men, themselves, or animals.
By Ginny Hogan
PAID POST

The Spy and the Traitor by Ben Macintyre

The thrilling tale of a Russian Spy. "The best true spy story I have ever read." —JOHN LE CARRÉ

Back to the Real News . . .

Our Columnists

John Kelly Is Finally Leaving "Crazytown"

One lesson of Kelly's departure is that Trump is incorrigible. Addled by narcissism and a vanishingly short attention span, Trump hates structured environments and receiving advice.
By John Cassidy
Michael Cohen Swamp Chronicles

The Ineptitude of Donald Trump's Co-Conspirators

The sentencing memos filed by prosecutors on Friday reveal the inner workings of a coördinated conspiracy conducted by people who are very, very bad at conspiracy.
By Adam Davidson
Profiles

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Acts Out

The actress on challenging comedy's sexism, fighting cancer, and becoming the star of her own show.
By Ariel Levy
Cardi B performs. Cultural Comment

Is Rap Finally Ready to Embrace Its Women?

A new generation of artists is changing an industry and a genre that has traditionally not allowed for more than one female superstar at a time, while pitting other women against one another or ignoring them entirely.
By Briana Younger
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